The other day I came downstairs shortly after my kids came home from school. I looked around and everything I saw gave me instant overwhelm! There were papers that looked like they’d be thrown in the air, backpacks on the floor, one shoe over here, another over there, and my kids shoving around the pantry to get a snack. The block of time between after school and bedtime can be quite busy juggling homework, activities, and practices while trying to support often tired and overstimulated children. In this chaos, I realized something so important was missing: connection. We were missing time to spend together and continue to build our relationship as a family unit. I felt disconnected from my kids and their days and I imagined they felt disconnected as well. I wanted this after school time to feel more calm and welcoming. Enter the SNACK AND CHAT.
What is a Snack and Chat?!
I made some small changes to help my kids and I connect with each other after school. We built new routines to empty their backpacks and put school items away. I also filled the sink with soapy water ahead of time. When my kids got home, they put their lunch containers in the water to wash. It was a game changer! Finally, I gathered all my kids together in something I called a Snack and Chat. The name helps guide this time after school for us. After we put everything away, we sit down at the table to have a snack. Then, we chat about our days. Each member of the family gets a turn to tell us what they think we should know about their school day and I get to share about my day too.
During these chats, many different topics come up: who my kids played with at recess, a challenging thing that they may have been working on, or something funny that happened. We learn about teachers, art projects, and issues on the playground all while sitting together.
What the Snack and Chat has Done for My Family
The Snack and Chat has given us all a window into each other’s lives. During the school year, there is such a large chunk of time spent away from home. This time after school is a chance to get to know one another in a different way. In addition, it helps everyone in my house have a voice. It doesn’t matter whether you spent your day at school, home, or work, we all have important things to say.
Since beginning the Snack and Chat in my home, I feel more connected to my family. When we sit around the table and share about the day, I look into their eyes, I notice their facial expressions, and I hear about feelings and challenges and triumphs. They feel seen. I feel seen. We can problem-solve an issue together. We can celebrate good news together.
Finally, this short time to gather together after school has allowed us to slow down. Before, my children were grabbing the first snack they saw before rushing to play outside or get ready for what’s next. Now, we sit, we take turns, we eat slowly. The rest of our evening may be complete chaos. However, those few minutes often feel calm and it’s been really nice.
What if We Can’t All Gather Together After School?
There are many alternatives to the Snack and Chat. The important thing isn’t when you do it or how you do it, but to find SOME time during the day to connect together. Maybe people are in different places after school and you can’t gather until right before bed. Amazing! Have a treat, talk, and then get tucked in. Or, it may be more feasible for you to begin a family dinner with a chat about each person’s day. That’s wonderful too. Maybe your time to connect can only happen in the morning before the rush of the day. Any time can be special and precious when we make an intentional decision and plan to be together and share about what is going on in our lives.
Feeling connected as a family unit matters. I hope the Snack and Chat has inspired you to carve out a few slow, intentional minutes to gather together!
