Life at home feels a little different these days for everyone. Working through a pandemic with three young adults is anything but easy. With a sixteen-, twenty-, and twenty-two-year-old, we’re working together to get through this.
At Sixteen…
His computer reflects a glow on his face as he clicks through another daily set of SAT questions. He’s afraid doing the questions are useless; the test is cancelled indefinitely. He does them anyway. He won’t be returning to school anytime soon and the baseball season that he’s prepared for since last fall is gone. You would think his spirit would dim, but his hope remains steady. I’ve come to rely on that.
At Twenty…
For nearly a year, he’s worked over 50 hours a week. He’s learning to save, in a good routine, and thriving after a couple hard years. Today, he’s home mid-day to fill out unemployment papers. Even though it’s through no fault of his own, it feels like a sucker-punch on the chin. Still, he’s trudging through a bogged down on-line system to do what needs to be done.
At Twenty-Two…
The oldest in college had on-line classes pushed out until the end of the semester, possibly summer. Currently, two of his classes are labs that have been moved from in-person to on-line. He isn’t sure he can learn what he needs to in that format. Graduate school is complicated to apply to in the best of times, let alone in the middle of a pandemic. His summer job prospects are dim. Yet, he continues to pull in excellent grades.
This is Their Collective History
My boys will not forget these months. They will remember this time as a slice of their collective history, its uncertainty and fear, hallmark tenants. Conversations in this house are big and coming fast and hard with young adults. We’ve covered unemployment, government policy, freedom of states, health care, and the obligations of government and its citizens. The changes they face are massive, the gravity of the world’s choices will define their lives in ways we won’t understand until this is over. Yet, every day they are showing me they are scrambling to be ready for every new task at hand. They are doing what is being asked of them by their parents and their country.
We are Doing the Best We Can
As a family, we’ve decided we can come out of this stronger than we were, or we can let ourselves come out of it in worse shape. Admittedly, some days that is far easier to do than others. Caring for our physical, mental, and emotional health will be our priority. We will do the best we can. And that means we will fill out the required paperwork, do assignments, share chores, and work from home as we can. We will also save space for anger, fear, and bitterness– because those are coming.
When they were little, being their mom meant handling a crisis and insulating them. As near adults, young adults, and adults by law, I no longer serve that role. I can’t protect them from the fall out of this virus and the economic hardships that are coming. That fact alone leaves me feeling vulnerable and worried. So what can I do? I can reflect back their light. The light they have continued to show me, even with their own losses, personal struggles, and sacrifices since this began. We can show each other what it looks like to be brave, to carry on when life is crushing. One day at a time.
Want to connect and engage with your adult and teen kids while at home? Check the sections of our Activities for Your Kids Guide for ideas, or if you have a tween at home, check out these ideas on 10 Ways to Become BFF’s With Your Tween.
