How to Handle Negative Words

People will always have something to say. The negative words hit me hard. Am I doing things right? Should I scold them more? Should I spank them? Are they really THAT naughty and I just don’t see it?

My kids are curious. They are smart, fearless, witty, but most of all sweet. They push each other down and tackle each other every single chance they get. Their squeals aren’t the quietest thing…in fact I don’t think “quiet” is in their dictionary yet. Something I’m becoming more comfortable with and telling myself, “it’s okay!” when they are squealing and yelling. Kids. Are. Loud!

But the negative words come rushing in once you have kids. Everyone has an opinion on how wrong you are doing it. It seemed as if no matter how hard I tried, I was still failing. I clung to any negative words that were said. They rang in my ears. I questioned myself as a mom over and over again.

Do I handle Negative Words Well?

No. I used to cry a lot. Negative words would have me leaving places with my kids in tow, sobbing. Most people probably didn’t realize it as I left parties and places with tears in my eyes. I’d get in my car and a tiny voice would pipe up in the back, “Mom, why are you sad?” “It’s hard being a mommy sometimes, buddy.”

It is HARD and there is no denying that. With the world at your back talking about how your children sometimes act. They looked into five seconds of our day, and of course it was right before nap-time. When I’m tired I can be irrational too.

Why do we expect kids who are learning everyday to behave as adults? To control big emotions as if they are adults? I have a hard time controlling my big emotions, hence the sobbing in the car. I remind moms around me all the time to give themselves some grace. While it is true that we need some grace…our kids need some, too.

How To Handle it Better

How do we handle others negative comments about our children, their emotions, and their actions? Well you could just give them the “mom look” that usually gets the point across. We could just not worry about what others have to say, but I know that’s far-fetched. When someone makes a negative comment about your kids, be up front and honest with them. Say it hurts your feelings when it does. Let them know that you’re trying your best and your kids are learning. Throw them a sarcastic remark and joke about the situation.

Deep breath Momma, your kids will have “bad” moments. That does not mean they are “bad” kids. We are all trying our best. Is the answer more yelling and spanking? I don’t believe so. Unfortunately we can’t control what others say to us but we can control how we handle our children.

Instead of worrying about others, use the crazy moments to get down to your child’s eye level and talk with them. Show them compassion. Talk them through the big emotions and hug them tight. Give them the grace you wish people would give you when their emotions get too big to handle. Whether it is excitement, fear, or anger.

What’s the Answer for Negative Words?

I don’t know if there is one answer. Kids are learning and it is our job to teach them. Let’s teach them that negative words can hurt and that maybe we aren’t seeing all that there is to see of a person. Teach them that it’s okay to have bad days because the good days wouldn’t mean as much, if the bad didn’t exist. Yes we need to teach our children to behave and be a contributing member of society, I’m not saying to let your kids roam free and do as they please with no rules. It’s important to have rules and to follow them. It’s also important to realize that bad days happen. We all make mistakes but it is important to learn from these mistakes. From now on I will respond with, “their world is a learning zone.” Shoot, my world is a learning zone.

I will continue to be okay with this phase of life. Blocking out the negatives is hard but I had to do it because my mental health and my children’s relied on it. Now I try to throw some sarcasm to alleviate moments like these.

Make the Lemonade, Proudly

Though I thought motherhood would have been way more glamourous, I had to get over trying to be picture perfect. We all need to accept that perfection in motherhood just does not exist. One thing that works for others, even if it’s a lot of others…may not work for you. That is okay.

Kids are not picture perfect. Life happens. When it hands you lemons, or negative words, you learn how to make lemonade… because you’re a mom and more than likely your kids will appreciate it.

What tips do you have for moms of today dealing with the negative words of the world? Share your words of wisdom with us!