Get the yell out! Seriously, do it. I don’t care how you do it, but do it, one way or another, and make sure it’s good! We moms have a lot on our plate right now and I’m going to give you a glimpse of myself most people naturally wouldn’t. That’s me, it’s who I am. I don’t really like to sugar coat it. As moms, even as parents, we yell. We yell to get after our kids, we yell to release stress, we yell to just freakin’ yell. Let me tell you why I think yelling is OK.
Yelling is a Fine Line
Why do we yell? Is it to release anger, to make us feel alive, to make us feel like we need to be heard, to just feel a little better, to express happiness? Only you know what’s happening inside of you and sometimes it’s ok to let the inner noise in you out. Our kids are wonderful and great little beings, blessings to us. We prayed for them, we hoped for them, but we still have those times where we just fly off the handle and get after them. Guess what? Yelling is ok! Just be sure to know the boundaries.
There are a few types of yells I find myself using.
Yell #1: Fiery Yell
I’m a yeller. I scream and shout. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m not your calm and collected type. The best way to describe me is hot and fiery with a whole lotta yell. I don’t just yell at my kids all day, I yell for release. I yell to get the anger and pressure of the day off my chest. I don’t get the yell out every day, just an every now and then kind of thing.
I know, oh, do I know it’s not easy being married to me. I tell everyone I’m the fire and he’s the ice. We start the day with a calm sense of direction hoping and praying that the day will go well, things will go just right, but things happen. After all, they call it “life” for a reason. Something goes haywire. You might stay calm, you might tense up inside, or you might come right out of the gate just yellin’. It’s OK to yell, even good for you in this case! Research actually supports this.
Yell #2: Bathroom Yell
We all have those moments when we just need to escape and yell. By ourself, in the bathroom, door closed (ok, maybe door slammed), just yelling. Then you stare at yourself in the mirror thinking oh my gosh, what is happening? Am I really this person that just did that?
Sometimes we need those moments to release the anger and frustrations. Let me tell you, some days are not all they’re thought out to be. Some days just straight up, outright suck the life out of us. If we just yell a little, it feels better somehow. Usually, my emotions are so strong that I follow it up with a good cry. Life feels unfair at times. Getting the yell out just helps me get through the harder times, which are sometimes more plentiful than others. Are you with me, do you get it? It’s ok to yell!
Yell #3: Happy Yell
What about yelling out of pure joy and happiness? Screeching and screaming because you’re excited! Those moments your kids come running to you, happy as can be to tell you something that you are so proud of that you light up brighter than the sun and let out a yell. Or when you see a relative walk through the door you haven’t seen in ages. How about finding out the sex of your baby? The times you yelled and screamed so much tears of joy rolled down your face. That’s the absolute best kind of yelling…a time when it’s most definitely OK to yell!
Apologize When Warranted
I was once told it’s ok to apologize to your child. I had gotten after my oldest about something trivial. I felt so bad. It had weighed on me for days. I just thought I hurt him and ruined his little soul and was making him into this person he shouldn’t be because I had yelled at him. I apologized days later, and, let me tell you, I felt so much better. Even if he was a young child, he knew and could grasp the idea of what I was doing.
To this day, I apologize to my kids. I want them to know I’m in the wrong sometimes. It’s ok to be in the wrong as an adult, as their parent. We all make mistakes. It’s definitely tough apologizing to a child. Is it easy apologizing to anyone though? Many times I’ve found myself trying to relate, trying to be patient, helping them, explaining to them at a level they might understand. Parenting can be monotonous and hard and bring out the need to yell. It’s OK to yell!
I think the most important thing is to be aware of your yelling and your need to yell. Go ahead, get the yell out! Remember, yelling directly at your children is walking a fine line. It’s OK to yell, just be gentle with them.
