We did a thing for our fourth of July holiday last year. We co-parented. But wait…don’t we do this every day? Yes. We do. Both my boyfriend and I have good relationships with our child(ren)’s other parent. We all work really hard to make sure our kids never feel a hiccup, never feel torn between going here or there, never feel like their parents hate being in the same room. Even if there were/are times that is true, the one thing we all have in common is that we will do anything for our children, including co-parenting.
Setting Co-Parent Priorities Early
The very first thing my boyfriend and I communicated about when we started talking was that our number one priority was, and always will be, our children– which means we co-parent. His son is his life, and my children are mine. Nothing will ever change that. We literally ran through a list of questions to ensure that we were on the same page in regards to co-parenting, priorities, etc. You could say we both learned through previous relationships exactly what we were looking for and were definitely not going to waste time “dating.” We were both extremely serious about the potential person that may be brought into our families.
Meeting Her
I met his son’s mom and her little gem of a family at a baseball game shortly after my boyfriend and I started dating. She was friendly, her other two boys were adorable, and she’s just as gorgeous as I knew she would be– not going to lie, it was a little intimidating. After all, this was a new role for me, one I’d never played and I literally had no idea what to do. After my kids’ dad started dating, I shifted my mindset to look at what I would want to have in a relationship with whomever he may be with and that’s how I started to shift my thinking.
In the months that followed, we started following each other on Instagram so we could keep up with each other’s families, share photos of the kids, and just, you know…get to know each other the way that you do in this day and age: social media. We chatted occasionally about anything…clothes, fitness, mommin’, our kids.
As we saw each other more frequently during baseball season, the kids (my two and her other two are the same age) got to play together and I think we all saw something that maybe none of us expected.
Moving on…Together
My boyfriend first brought up the idea of having a blended family get together for the fourth of July and I just love him for that. Now, had his ex and I not been in contact at all, this might have been uncomfortable. But with the communication we were starting to have, I was all about this! A couple weeks before the party, we were chatting every day– looking forward to creating a friendship, and of course, showing our children that we could all come together. Not just for events or graduations, but whenever we wanted. How nice for the kids to have all their people in one place, getting along, relaxing together?
It really doesn’t have to be hard. Co-parenting doesn’t need to be an awful experience for anyone. Especially children. See past your past. Look past whatever happened before. Be optimistic and see the potential what can be if you can move on. It can be hard, letting new people in your children’s lives– I get that 1000%. I’m still working on it too.
Bonus Mom Status
For now, I’m thankful that I get to be a ‘bonus mom.’ (Also, I legit teared up when my kids’ bonus mom referred to me as that.) I’m thankful that we’re in this place where we get to do things like this together. I’m thankful that I entered a relationship with two mature people who are focused on putting their son’s happiness first. I’ve told them both, but I respect them as parents. They have raised an amazing young man– one I am thankful that my kids get to have as a role model.
Take a Chance on Co-Parenting
All of this to say…if you’re thinking about co-parenting, just give it a try. Or, take the first step. We made some beautiful memories this past fourth (& fourth of July just so happens to be one of my favorite holidays). Like how I co-parent? Get to know more about me here!
