Choosing impactful people on purpose.
The speaker talked about the ways her family had been influenced by this concept which caused my mind to trail off and think of the people within my circle. My husband and I were in a season of transition. A big move was planned, our friendships were transforming, and the things we found interests in were changing. Having children seems to do that to people.
In the past, we had been living for ourselves but after becoming parents, every move was influenced by the effect it would have on our kids.
When the speaker asked, “Who are the top five adults cheering your kids on?” I felt stuck. The people in my circle, although the relationships were changing, were good friends. Surly, those people loved my kids, but I wasn’t convinced they were cheering them on.
That moment was over five years ago. With a blank paper in my hand, I walked away. The people that immediately came to mind were wonderful friends to me. A lot of fun was had together! Starring at that blank page, the names that I would have put down wouldn’t have impacted my kids the way I would want.
Today, raising four kids, with ease I could write a list of five people for each kid that come to mind. They have a wonderful impact on my kids’ lives: showing up at school plays and sending cards in the mail; knowing unique details about my kids that they learn from spending time with them.
Our family started growing and I began to realize, balancing personalities from each kid would become a challenge at times. Knowing I had purposefully put a person within their circle to speak into their lives gave me a sense of relief. Pressure is lifted off my shoulders. When the days were long and tough, someone else could lift them up when I couldn’t. An extra face in the crowd to cheer them on.
As you’re reading this, do you have names that come to mind? Who are the people influencing your kids?
When you think of these people, be intentional.
Personally, we have individuals in our lives that have made an impact. Perhaps a teacher, a family friend, neighbor, or Sunday school teacher. Those people crossed your path and influenced you by chance. What if we gave our kids the opportunity to be impacted on purpose?
How to Choose Impactful People on Purpose
Look for someone you trust. Your relationship with them matters, too. Do you enjoy spending time with them?
Seek people who might be in a different season that you are. A person who has been there and done that is going to have different insight than a person who is currently going through it. This person might also have more free time to invest in your kids.
Find people who are willing to have tough conversations with your kids and offer sound advice, if they arise. This person should offer wisdom. They should want to know your kids’ strengths and weaknesses.
Find someone who will show up to the small things your kids are a part of. They’ll be a face in the crowd at a sports game or event. They might send a birthday card to your kid each year. This person should be an encourager, lifting them up when needed.
Identify the people to put in your kids’ paths and have an intentional conversation. It will be awkward at first but you’ll be happy you did it. Tell them you want people to positively impact your kids. Explain why you think they’d be great and ask if they’re willing.
Finally, know it takes time to choose impactful people on purpose. It won’t happen over night. Certainly get your kids involved. The long term impact this can have on our kids is immeasurable.